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16 Quotes from books that show that love and pain cannot exist without each other

When you fall in love with someone, it’s always going to be scary, because it involves a massive amount of risk and no one wants to get hurt.

But we forget that no matter what happens, when you love someone you are going to get hurt and there is no escaping that fact. So it’s less to do with risking getting hurt, but rather it’s about choosing the people who are worth getting hurt over.

We’re all going to get hurt in life, especially even more so by the people we love, but we need to find those who are worth bring hurt over, and in the end, being hurt by them will be worth having loving them and been loved by them.

You are bound to get hurt at some point in your life, you can still control who hurts you in the end. You decide whom you surround yourself with and you give them the ability to hurt you.

Here are 16 moments in books that accurately demonstrate and love and pain cannot exist without each other.

1. “It’s still two human beings trying to get along, so it’s going to be complicated. And love is always complicated. But humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

2. “I’m a grenade and at some point I’m going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?”…
“Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”

John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

3. “It’s true that nothing has the potential to hurt so much as loving someone, but nothing heals like it either.”
Emily Henry, The Love That Splits the World

4. “If you get very, very lucky in this life, then you get to love another person so hard and so completely that when you lose them, it rips you apart. I think the pain is the proof of a life well lived and loved.”
Nicola Yoon, Instructions for Dancing

5. “’Without pain, how could we know joy?’ This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.”
– John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

6. “But look what happened with Dad. Look how it ended.”
“You think because your father and I didn’t last, our love was any less real? Once upon a time, your father and I loved each other enough to make you and your sister. That alone makes all the other nonsense worth it.”

– Nicola Yoon, Instructions for Dancing

7. “Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

8. “If love finds you again, don’t fight it. Don’t let grief hold you back. Love is a risk. There are no guarantees. But, in the end, it is always, always worth it.”
J.L. Berg, When You’re Ready

9. “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…”
Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

10. “Love isn’t what you expect it to be. You imagine being drunk on happiness, but the truth is, you worry all the time. Is she ill? Hurt? Might she meet someone else? There’s a moment when you realize that you’ve gotten everything you wished for. And right on its heels is the understanding that this means you have so much more to lose.”
Jodi Picoult, Off the Page

11. “I fell in love with him. But I don’t just stay with him by default as if there’s no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.”
Veronica Roth, Allegiant

12. “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

13. “I don’t know about forever. It’s not something that concerns me. And maybe Scott and I will get married and have fifty babies and be old and wrinkled together. Or maybe we’ll crash and burn and break up, and if it happens it’ll be devastating, but what we have now makes me happy. And I can live in that happy, and feel safe there, knowing that even if things change, I’ll always have had this. You know?”
Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars

14. “So maybe the point is that keeping your guard up is useless because any of us could get hurt at any time so you might as well… let other people in. While you can.”
Gabby Noone, Layoverland

15. “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
A.A. Milne, The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh

16. “The greater the love, the greater the tragedy when it’s over. Those two elements always go together.”
― Nicholas Sparks, Nights in Rodanthe

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